Can’t, Not Won’t: Rethinking Children’s Behaviour + Anxiety

This one's for the parents. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Naomi Fisher , a clinical psychologist and author known for her work on anxiety, trauma, demand avoidance and nervous-system-led parenting. I adored her books 'When the naughty step makes things worse' and 'A different way to learn'. We talk about why so many traditional parenting approaches — rewards, consequences, charts and pressure — can backfire for anxious and demand-avoidant children, and what it actually means when a child can’t do something, rather than won’t. Naomi explains how anxiety shows up as resistance, shutdown or control, why reducing demands can be regulating rather than permissive, and how parents can shift from power struggles to partnership. This is a deeply validating conversation for anyone parenting a child who experiences everyday life as overwhelming — and for parents who are tired of being told to try harder when things already feel hard enough. Order yourself (or for a friend) a copy of my new book, Everything I Wish I'd Known About Anxiety: A Roadmap out of the Overwhelm and Back to Yourself here Follow me on Instagram @CarolineForan and @OwningItPodcas t, on Tik Tok here

You can listen to Can’t, Not Won’t: Rethinking Children’s Behaviour + Anxiety online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

Can’t, Not Won’t: Rethinking Children’s Behaviour + Anxiety is an episode from Owning It: The Anxiety Podcast by Caroline Foran.

This episode is 51:47 long.

This episode was published on Mar 23, 2026.

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