
372: The Fantasy of Fixing People Pt. 3
Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, c...
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The Connected Life is a thought-provoking conversation about all the beautiful and messy ups and downs of life. Join Life Consultants Justin & Abi Stumvoll as they share vulnerable stories a...

Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, c...

So many of us grow up believing that love means fixing, managing, or predicting other people. It feels safer to silence our needs than risk...

So many of us confuse codependency with love—believing that fixing, managing, or rescuing others is the way to feel safe and connected. But...

Most of us want to be emotionally mature—calm in conflict, clear about our needs, and kind even when we're hurting. But no one really teache...

Most of us say we want to be loved — but for many of us, when it shows up at our doorstep, it stirs up panic, self-doubt, and the urge to ru...

Most of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate...

Most of us don't realize how disconnected we are from our bodies, our emotions, and the present moment. We live in constant motion, pushing...

We've all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we're not proud...

Most of us don't realize how much of our relationship pain is rooted in old stories—until those stories start playing out with the person we...

In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Abi discuss the profound impact grief and suffering have on humanity, exploring how the radical love o...

Betrayal cuts deep—not just because of the actions themselves, but because of what they shake inside of us. We choose to trust, to be vulner...

We've all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be best...

Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From...

Most of us were never taught how to share pain in a way that brings connection. We were taught to explode, shut down, or stay silent—and tho...

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgm...

Nothing is more frustrating than feeling stuck in a relationship where your partner refuses to change. Maybe you've had the same conversatio...

Following your intuition can feel confusing. Sometimes it sounds like fear, sometimes like desire, and sometimes like silence when you need...

We've all felt it—the pit in your stomach that says the good can't last, or the ache that whispers the pain will never end. Living braced fo...

Chronic sickness can make you feel like you've lost yourself and that you're letting everyone else down too. It impacts more than just your...

Shame is one of the most powerful forces in relationships and one of the least recognized. It hides behind defensiveness, blame, denial, and...

Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or vacation—we often attach so much meaning and pressure to these moments that they end up fe...

Many of us can talk logically about our feelings and for years replay the same stories in an effort to make sense of the pain, yet never tru...

In a modern world with more access to therapy than ever before, the increase in emotional health seems to be accompanied by people who are m...

In this episode, Justin and Abi explore how emotional health, once rooted in compassion, can begin to mirror the rigid structures of religio...

Most relationship conflict isn't about the issue at hand—it's about whose anxiety gets cared for. Whether it's parenting, money, cleaning, o...

When life feels overwhelming, it's easy to reach for anything that helps us escape. For some, it's alcohol or substances. For others, it's o...

Some relationships help you grow—and some slowly pull you away from who you really are. So how do you know when it's time to walk away? In t...

Choosing who to commit to isn't just about attraction or chemistry—it's about alignment in values, emotional health, and the ability to grow...

Most of us think we're being observant when we're really just making snap judgments. Our brains are designed to make quick assumptions—to ke...

Falling for someone is easy. But building something that actually lasts? That takes a whole different skill set. In part two of this series,...

Many of us didn't grow up learning how to date in a world of endless options and quick rejections, and those of us who have don't know a lif...

We all hit seasons where life feels too big to carry—and often, our relationships take the hit. Stress doesn't just affect our schedules; it...

Ever felt like asking hard questions about your faith might cost you everything? Like belonging, respect, or the relationships you once felt...

At some point, many of us reach a moment when our beliefs no longer fit the reality we're living. In this episode, Justin and Abi open up ab...

For many couples, navigating hormones can feel like walking through a minefield—unpredictable, emotionally charged, and often misunderstood....

Setting boundaries can sound easy in theory. But trying to implement boundaries when your nervous system is fried and you're knee-deep in a...

For many of us, setting boundaries sounds reasonable outside of a romantic relationship. But what happens once you're in deep—sharing a life...

Most of us never learned how to share pain in a way that brings us closer. Instead, we vent, shut down, accuse, or spiral into fear—hoping t...

Most of us were never taught how to share pain in a way that brings connection. We were taught to explode, shut down, or stay silent—and tho...

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgm...

We've all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be best...

Most of us don't realize how much of our relationship pain is rooted in old stories—until those stories start playing out with the person we...

Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From...

Most of us were never taught to explore where our beliefs about sex came from—let alone how those beliefs affect our experience of it. From...

Let's be real—most of us didn't get great sex ed growing up, and even fewer of us learned how emotional pain, shame, and past beliefs impact...

So many of us feel like we're just going through the motions of life—rushing through tasks, ignoring our bodies, and avoiding the feelings t...

Many of us have experienced moments of life that seem to unravel faster than we can hold them together. The crushing weight of our problems...

Attraction isn't just physical—it's deeply emotional. When couples struggle with intimacy, it's often because unprocessed pain has created i...

Nothing is more frustrating than feeling stuck in a relationship where your partner refuses to change. Maybe you've had the same conversatio...

Betrayal cuts deep—not just because of the actions themselves, but because of what they shake inside of us. We choose to trust, to be vulner...