How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love

How do childhood wounds, past relationships, and old emotional patterns shape your definition of love? In this episode, John Kim explores how relationship residue turns into distorted definitions of love. He breaks down how early experiences, family dynamics, unhealthy conflict, self-sacrifice, and internalized pain can create a damaging love blueprint that follows us into adulthood. John unpacks the unhealthy ways many people define love, including love as self-sacrifice, possession, completion, and dependency. He explains how these distorted beliefs can lead to codependency, control, unrealistic expectations, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns. He also shares how heartbreak, expired relationships, and self-awareness can become a corrective love experience that helps you redefine love in a healthier way. Instead of losing yourself in romance, healthy love is built through interdependence, communication, compassion, conflict repair, individuality, and emotional growth. If you’ve ever struggled with attachment wounds, toxic relationship patterns, fear of abandonment, or confusion about what real love looks like, this episode will help you question the definitions you inherited and create a healthier, more grounded version of love. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You can listen to How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love is an episode from The Angry Therapist Podcast by John Kim.

This episode is 26:02 long.

This episode was published on Apr 8, 2026.

Yes. Use the heart button on the episode page to add it to your favorite episodes list.

Yes. This page shows related episodes from The Angry Therapist Podcast when more episodes are available from the podcast feed.