Episode 487: How To Make Online Dating Work For You

Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn’t something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that’s inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick , a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might using multiple dating strategies improve your odds? Can AI predict attraction better than we can ourselves? How accurate are first impressions on dating apps? Is there an optimal timeline for meeting in person after matching? What strategies lead to healthier online dating experiences? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Head to and download the app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook , Twitter , or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram . Listen and stream all episodes on Apple , Spotify , or Amazon .

You can listen to Episode 487: How To Make Online Dating Work For You online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

Episode 487: How To Make Online Dating Work For You is an episode from Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

This episode is 33:20 long.

This episode was published on Mar 27, 2026.

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