Episode 493: Straight Men Who Have Sex With Other Men

We tend to think about sexual orientation as a fixed identity that’s clear, stable, and easy to define. However, sexuality doesn’t fit into neat and tidy boxes like that. In this episode, we’re diving into the world of heterosexual man who want to have sex with other men, and what this tells us about the complexity of human sexuality. I am joined once again by Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers , a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common is it for heterosexual guys to have same-sex fantasies? Are these fantasies and desires purely physical, or is there an emotional component as well? Are these men just secretly gay? Why is male same-sex behavior more stigmatized than female same-sex behavior? Are women sometimes turned on by watching their husbands or boyfriends with other men? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website . Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated . Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook , Twitter , or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram . Listen and stream all episodes on Apple , Spotify , or Amazon .

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Episode 493: Straight Men Who Have Sex With Other Men is an episode from Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

This episode is 34:34 long.

This episode was published on Apr 17, 2026.

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