Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships

“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives. My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh , a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists . She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds . Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does trauma mean in a clinical sense? What happens in the brain and body when someone experiences trauma? How does trauma show up in our intimate lives and relationships? Why doesn’t trauma affect everyone the same way? How can trauma affect sexual arousal and desire? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook , Twitter , or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram . Listen and stream all episodes on Apple , Spotify , or Amazon .

You can listen to Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships is an episode from Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

This episode is 36:06 long.

This episode was published on May 5, 2026.

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