Episode 483: Making Relationship Agreements That Work

When people open a relationship, they often start by asking: w hat are the rules? But the real key to healthy non-monogamy isn’t rules. It’s clarity about needs, desires, and expectations. In this episode, we’re talking about how to design relationship agreements that actually work. I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole Thompson , a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy . She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships . She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice , where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What’s the difference between our needs and our desires? How can partners discuss and negotiate different desires in healthy ways? What kinds of things should go into a relationship agreement? How do you cultivate feelings of security in a non-monogamous relationship? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated . Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook , Twitter , or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram . Listen and stream all episodes on Apple , Spotify , or Amazon .

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Episode 483: Making Relationship Agreements That Work is an episode from Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

This episode is 36:37 long.

This episode was published on Mar 13, 2026.

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