What Makes Love Last? A Rare In-Person Interview with Drs. John and Julie Gottman

I started working with the Loving Children, Loving Families project with a question - a yearning desire to understand one thing: What makes love last? Day and night, I saw couple after couple transform. Groups of 2-20 couples gathered around on the second floor of a small house, turned non-profit center, in Bothell, WA. Couples found ways to discuss the taboo . The hidden. The feared. Looking into each other's eyes, couples learned how to use Gentle Start Up to discuss their problems. They learned how to bring more love into their lives . Each day, I watched masses of kids enter the non-profit with their parents. I saw the children transformed as their parents stopped complaining about them. Mom and Dad stopped saying: "Our son has a problem. He has a short temper and he yells a lot. We need you to help us change him." Instead they began to say: "Our son is like this because we set a bad example. We yell a lot and get angry easily. Let's be better partners to each other . Let's help Tommy by being better partners." It wasn't just the couples and the children who were changing. To me, this was more than just a job. This sparked a passion and talent within me that made me feel alive . The Gottman's research had become part of my obsession. The 7:1 ratio, the 5:1 ratio, Gentle Start Up, Taking a Break, Date Nights, Turn Towards and Not Away, The 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse, The Love Bank, Love Maps…I felt alive teaching their work. Nearly 3 years later, 200 couples visited , several dozen courses taught, and lots of personal time spent observing the workings of couples, my questions about love had been answered. What makes love last? After countless hours I had a pretty good idea. Now, in this interview, we sit wit the Gottman's to help everyone understand the answer to this question . Click to Tweet - What Makes Love Last? A Rare In-Person Interview with Drs. John and Julie Gottman Big Take Away - Don't assume you know what you're partner is thinking, ask. Gottman Institute Website Related Episodes Dr. Gay Hendricks- Learning to Deeply Connect with Your Partner Dr. Harville Hendrix – Learn to, "Have the Love You Want" Suggested Reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert - John Gottman's unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships - A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken. If you enjoyed today's episode, leave us a review in iTunes and Stitcher

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What Makes Love Last? A Rare In-Person Interview with Drs. John and Julie Gottman is an episode from Lasting Love Connection Podcast by luis congdon.

This episode is 42:18 long.

This episode was published on Jul 8, 2015.

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