The feedback trap. When Criticism is Really Bias.

We’ve all heard it: “You’re too controlling.” “You should smile more.” “Maybe if you weren’t so emotional…” But here’s the truth: not all feedback is created equal. And far too often, what women receive isn’t feedback at all. It’s bias dressed up as “constructive criticism.” In this episode, we’re tackling a common but often invisible challenge in professional and personal life: feedback that masquerades as growth but is actually bias. We explore how women frequently receive critiques that focus on personality, style, or likability rather than skills or outcomes. Feedback that can drain energy, reinforce double standards, and perpetuate gender bias. Finally, I share strategies for reframing and resisting biased feedback, so you can protect your confidence and focus on growth that truly matters. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard to fix things that were never broken, this episode is for you. Key Topics Covered: Feedback vs. bias: How to tell the difference Competence vs. likability: The damned-if-you-do, doomed-if-you-don’t bind Joan Williams’ prove-it-again bias and its impact on women’s careers Vocal fry, uptalk, and other examples of style policing as bias Practical strategies: reframing biased feedback and pushing back with questions Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): Biased feedback is not your personal deficit. You are neither broken, nor defective. By reframing and resisting, we reclaim our power, keep the focus on outcomes, and push toward greater equity. Resources & References: Williams, J. C., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work: Four patterns working women need to know. New York University Press. Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episode: Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak (4/7/22) TikTok trend example (Is a “top-tier” man just an average woman?) Let’s Connect: Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

You can listen to The feedback trap. When Criticism is Really Bias. online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

The feedback trap. When Criticism is Really Bias. is an episode from Advancing Women Podcast by Dr. Kimberly DeSimone.

This episode is 19:53 long.

This episode was published on Sep 22, 2025.

Yes. Use the heart button on the episode page to add it to your favorite episodes list.

Yes. This page shows related episodes from Advancing Women Podcast when more episodes are available from the podcast feed.