394. What is the pursuer-distancer relationship dynamic?

When one person tries to get closer to someone else, and the other person pulls away in response, they might be experiencing a pursuer-distancer dynamic. This can create a very painful cycle, where communication breaks down, each side blames the other, and ultimately, nobody has their needs met. In this episode, we explore the stages of a pursuer-distancer cycle, unpack why we're drawn to relationships like this, and learn how to break the cycle so we can enjoy more happy, fulfilled relationships. We explore: What the pursuer-distancer dynamic looks like The psychology of why romantic opposites 'attract' What's going on in the mind or a pursuer and distancer Pursuer-distancer burnout - and when the pursuer final quits... How we can heal a pursuer-distancer cycle Can pursuer-distancer dynamics work in our 20s? A note that this episode contains content about abusive relationships. Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK: Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

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394. What is the pursuer-distancer relationship dynamic? is an episode from The Psychology of your 20’s by iHeartPodcasts.

This episode is 39:27 long.

This episode was published on Mar 12, 2026.

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