The mattering gap: Why so many parents feel invisible, overwhelmed, and disconnected with Jennifer Wallace

Jennifer Wallace joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked foundation of mental health and resilience: the human need to feel like we matter. While so much of parenting focuses on what we do for our kids, this conversation invites us to look inward, because a child's sense of mattering is deeply shaped by how much their parents feel valued, seen, and significant in their own lives. Drawing from research and real-life stories, we unpack why so many adults today feel invisible, overwhelmed, or defined by achievement, and how that shapes the way we show up in our relationships with our children. Together we explore: - What it actually means to "matter" and why it's different from self-esteem or a sense of purpose. - Why parents today are at risk of feeling like they don't matter, and how that impacts their kids. - The connection between mattering, anxiety, burnout, and loneliness. - A simple framework for building deeper, more meaningful relationships. - Why "delight" is a critical ingredient in helping children feel secure and valued. - How to model a healthy sense of self so your child doesn't feel pressure to be your "everything." - Practical ways to help kids both feel valued and add value in their families and communities. - How showing others they matter can actually be the fastest way to feel like you matter too. This conversation is a reminder that parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum. When we feel grounded in our own worth, supported by meaningful relationships and a sense of connection, we create the conditions for our children to internalize that same belief: you matter, just as you are. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Jennifer Wallace 📚 Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose 📱IG: @jenniferbrehenywallace 🎧 Listen to Jennie's first Securely Attached podcast about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 📱IG: @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson

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The mattering gap: Why so many parents feel invisible, overwhelmed, and disconnected with Jennifer Wallace is an episode from Securely Attached by Dr. Sarah Bren.

This episode is 45:07 long.

This episode was published on May 26, 2026.

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