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If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count

Relationship Advice by Colter Bloxom

Feb 28, 202653:34Health

Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affe...

About This Episode

If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count is an episode from Relationship Advice by Colter Bloxom. Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” —...

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Episode Details

Published Feb 28, 2026, 53:34 long, audio available.

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What is If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count about?

Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic. Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Which podcast is If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count from?

If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count is an episode from Relationship Advice by Colter Bloxom.

How long is this episode?

This episode is 53:34 long.

When was this episode published?

This episode was published on Feb 28, 2026.

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Are there related episodes from Relationship Advice?

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Where can I listen to If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count?

You can listen to If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count on this page when the episode audio is available from the podcast feed.

Which podcast is this episode from?

If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count is from Relationship Advice by Colter Bloxom.

What are the episode details?

Published Feb 28, 2026 and 53:34 long