Lou Beckett: Being the default parent, invisible labour, and losing yourself in motherhood

This week’s guest is Lou Beckett, author of the Sunday Times bestselling book Lessons From A Default Parent. Fans of the Parenting Hell podcast will be very familiar with Lou, thanks to husband Rob Beckett mentioning her lots, but this time Lou is firmly in the spotlight in her own right. In her debut book, Lou explores the reality of being the “default parent” - the one who carries the invisible admin, the mental load, and the assumption of responsibility that very often falls to mums. We talk about what the term default parent actually means, why it happens (even in relationships with “one of the good ones”), and how easily it can chip away at your identity. Lou shares her experience of early motherhood, being at home with Rob's life seemingly carried on as usual, the mild resentment and sheer exhaustion that led to an argument in The Glades Shopping Centre in Bromley. We also chat about: Why the “I love my kids but…” caveat exists Whether maternity and paternity leave policies contribute to the imbalance Why modern parenting feels heavier than it used to And how to stop being the sole keeper of all the information in your house Lou’s book Lessons From A Default Parent is out now: You can read Lou’s blog here: And follow her on Instagram: If you enjoyed this episode then please leave a rating or review - and you can follow the podcast to ensure you don’t miss future episodes. Thank you! Not Another Mummy Podcast is brought to you by me, journalist and author Alison Perry. I'm a mum of three and I love interviewing people about parenthood and confidence on the podcast. You can check out my other episodes and you can come chat to me on Instagram: @iamalisonperry or on Twitter: @iamalisonperry . You can buy my book OMG It's Twins now. Music: Epidemic Sound Artwork: Eleanor Bowmer Support this show . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Lou Beckett: Being the default parent, invisible labour, and losing yourself in motherhood is an episode from Not Another Mummy Podcast by Alison Perry.

This episode is 52:42 long.

This episode was published on Feb 26, 2026.

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