How to connect with a child that shuts you down (without losing your cool)

Send us Fan Mail This episode will change how you see your child’s moods and how you respond to them. If you’ve ever tiptoed around your child in the morning, worried the “wrong” cereal bowl or shirt will set off a meltdown, this conversation is for you. Joining me is Dr. Alex Reed, pediatric clinical psychologist and mom of two , who has spent years helping families understand temperament, moodiness, and emotional regulation. Together, we pull back the curtain on what’s really happening when your child seems unpredictable, reactive, or even says, “I hate you.” You’ll learn: Why some kids seem “moody” from the start and what temperament really means. The hidden role of shame in meltdowns (and why your child pushes you away even when you’re trying to help). The front door vs. side door approach and why lecturing, correcting, or over-validating often backfires. The science-backed strategies that actually work: modeling, storytelling, and overhearing. How to set calm, clear boundaries without escalating the conflict . The skill you must practice first is your own regulation . This is not about quick fixes or “tricks” for behavior. It’s about raising kids who can handle their big feelings, and parents who can show up with confidence, calm, and connection—even in the hardest moments. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a new way to think about your child’s temperament, and practical steps you can use today to stop walking on eggshells. Join the conversation about this episode on our private Facebook group: Read a science article about this: Predicting child problem behaviour at school age: The role of maternal sensitivity, child temperament and theory of mind Support the show Do you find yourself reacting in ways you wish you could change when your child is upset? Learn how to stay calm, manage your emotions, and respond in a way that actually helps your child. Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video): Or purchase our course, join the next 8 week group cohort in April 2026 below:

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How to connect with a child that shuts you down (without losing your cool) is an episode from Curious Neuron by Cindy Hovington, Ph.D..

This episode is 68:35 long.

This episode was published on Sep 15, 2025.

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