Why "That's Not Fair!" Is Actually a Teaching Moment

Does your teenager constantly tell you "it's not fair"? Do you find yourself offering bigger and bigger rewards just to get them to take out the garbage? In this episode, Dr. Mark Schillinger breaks down why bribes and rewards actually backfire with teens, and shares the mentoring approach that builds real responsibility and self-respect. You'll learn how to stop negotiating with your "house lawyer" and start raising a young person who takes ownership of their life. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why "it's not fair" is actually a learning opportunity, not a problem to solve The difference between extrinsic rewards (bribes) and intrinsic motivation How to use the "Both/And" principle when your teen does something right AND wrong Why most of life is unfair or neutral, and how to prepare your teen for this reality The 5 C's of calm, confident communication that won't get derailed Resources Mentioned Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn Young Men's Ultimate Weekend More Resources On-demand and live, online workshops for teenagers and young men are available here: Free Parents' Support Group For a complimentary 20-minute consultation with Dr. Mark or for more information about his parent coaching and mentoring young men, go to About Dr. Mark Schillinger Dr. Mark Schillinger's work has been featured on the CNN show "This is Life with Lisa Ling." These videos are designed to help parents more effectively "challenge" or motivate their teenage sons to become more responsible and resilient. These videos offer straightforward advice so parents can minimize conflict and maximize cooperation with their sons – especially those young men who are distracted by their digital devices. For more information, visit Connect with Dr. Mark Instagram: Facebook: LinkedIn:

You can listen to Why "That's Not Fair!" Is Actually a Teaching Moment online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

Why "That's Not Fair!" Is Actually a Teaching Moment is an episode from Challenging Teenage Sons by Dr Mark Schillinger.

This episode is 08:15 long.

This episode was published on Jan 7, 2026.

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