465: When Your Spicy Child Takes All Your Energy (And What That Means for Their Siblings) // Mary Van Geffen

If you have a strong-willed child, you know how much energy they require—and if you have other kids too, you've probably wondered what this dynamic is doing to their siblings. Are they getting lost in the shuffle? Will they resent their brother or sister? Will they resent you? Many parents worry that their quieter child is fading into the background while the spicy one commands all the attention. And even though you're doing your best, it's hard to know how to protect all your kids when one requires so much more support. In this week's episode, I talked with Mary Van Geffen, author of the brand new book Parenting A Spicy One: Raising a Strong-Willed Child Without Breaking Their Spirit or Yours. Mary brings both personal experience as a former spicy child herself and professional expertise as a parenting educator, and she teaches us how to navigate sibling relationships in a way that protects everyone—including the child you might not realize needs protecting. In this episode, you'll learn: 🌶️ Why your "easy" child might be protecting you from their own needs (and what that quietly costs them as they grow up) 🌶️ What your spicy child secretly believes about themselves and their "perfect" sibling—and how it's hurting them both 🌶️ The Home Alone truth about strong-willed kids that changes everything (yes, Kevin McCallister is a spicy one, and we can learn from him) Whether you have a spicy child or not, this conversation will shift how you think about sibling conflict and what it actually takes to protect the relationships between your kids. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: If you're raising a spicy child and want help finding the joy in those big personalities, the Flecks of Gold Journal helps you notice and celebrate what's going right—even on the hard days. Use code 3in30 for 10% off! Related Episodes: 440: How to Parent Strong-Willed Children Without Breaking Their Spirit // Mary Van Geffen 452: You Yelled... Now What? How to Repair and Reconnect // Devon Kuntzman 332: How to Delight in Your Difficult Child Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, my listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

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465: When Your Spicy Child Takes All Your Energy (And What That Means for Their Siblings) // Mary Van Geffen is an episode from 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms by Cloud10.

This episode is 43:07 long.

This episode was published on Jan 26, 2026.

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