
California King: "What is HØL?"
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A Journal of Emotional Hygiene, staffed by lonelysandwich, scottsimpson, and hotdogsladies.

Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only fo...

Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right , we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you c...

Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™. No dogs, babies, or squares allowed. In preparation for your first day on campu...

As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreac...

Welcome to the global premiere of the International You Look Nice Today Conference & Expo™ ! Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea idea...

Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a wor...

ATTENTION! POOL RULES! Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15. Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool. This is a “Body...

TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinatio...

Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with opt...

Thieving Threesome Nabbed (California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of ove...

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The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, yo...

We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to th...

https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/aENk1CS_.jpg Unpeeling the gunt, extending the...

“Baby City” Trad., to the tune of “Tabula Rasa” by Arvo Pärt Babies are special babies are tough babies have smooth...

We went, with some friends, into the woods. A few days later we left the woods. Our memory of the time we spent in the woods is a bit fuzzy;...

Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd. Long Beach, CA Feb 8, 2010 Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M. Auction With Reser...

Subject: #1228743 “Mann” Application Date: September 4, 1980 Subject has submitted a new application to the Coolness Review Boar...

https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/3RKsN4UA.jpg Hop in our decommissioned World W...

While under the influence of y , we reveal that: Merlin once put x in an envelope. Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention aw...

You’re gonna love it—the guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.”...

Seattle LIVE!: April 23, 2009 We teamed up with our pals Jordan, Jesse, Go! and took the Monsters of Podcasting on the road. Our Pacific Nor...

INT. DINGY POLICE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE IN THE 80’s - NIGHT The chair behind the captain’s desk is empty. Two men sit, smoking,...

Making college affordable, restful, and culturally relevant; the cupping comforts of secondary scholarship; Adam becomes a costumed mascot a...

Merlin: Boy Scout Scott: Boy Scout Adam: YMCA Indian Guide

Listen as we conduct our exclusive pro gift-giving super-session TED Talk master class webinar. Over $600 in essential GiftWisdom™ is yours...

1930’s wandering troubadour Trinket Pills (? - 1939) scored a brief hit on the Wichita charts with his plaintive Ballad of Joey Nickel...

If “penultimate” meant “last,” this would be the penultimate episode of our VSOP series. Thanks again to John Hodgma...

YLNT VSOP , Part II! The drugs* have kicked in, and we have reached cruising altitude. Stay tuned for the final, gripping conclusion to the...

It’s YLNT VSOP , Part I! We convened a special session in San Francisco, featuring guests John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton . Aided by...

Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. I...

FIRST: Nose harmony, quarters, who’s Capote now?, “He plays you better than you play you,” layers of latex, latchkey ontol...

You’ve just hopped on the #17 Express and must quickly decide where to sit. In the back of the bus, four teenagers have staked their c...

Now* accepting applications for the Class of 2016! Sample from our wide range of available courses, including Sociology 102: Shaving, Chemis...

The parenting of negligence, things you didn’t know about gas stations, ancient aphorisms, tethered to a key, you go in and stay there...

Sandwich smiles into the mouthpiece, teenage telemarketing salad days, LonelyWear’s autumn line, the secret of our success (at Macy...

We’re back from summer break full of something and something. Expect weekly episodes until it’s time for fall break. Or early Se...

Down and out in Улаанбаатар (sorry, Mongolia!), remembrance of fights past, rampant on a field of Wheat Chex, stickin’ with the quadru...

Sit back, relax, mix yourself an Aunt Nancy but don’t cross the swords. We’re coloncasting over at bandaid1995.com. ¿Esto deberí...

Unhealthy ligatures, a course of Prednisone, “I’m not following you!”, obscure chess moves, smoking for the cure, misused...

Recorded live at the Dark Room Theater in San Francisco. Don’t miss lots of great photos from the event. Desperate for funds, we explo...

Parental interference and other awkwardtunities, pie vs invisibilty, how Adam will die, Tuesdays with Tom Waits, Wisdom Experience guarantee...

How do your socks feel about it?, a new kind of retail experience, Sandwich knows his Douglas Firs, Farewell to Tight (actually The Sun Also...

So sorry!, the oxygen lobby, doin’ the Skokie, Wallet-on-Chain is not a town in England, Sean Connery is Japanese, What’s your l...

Doing the fishstick, Sacks-Minnelli Disease, on the logical possibility of a cool fannypack, who’s your frelative?, “A Touch of...

Sheriff’s got a posse, Clarence the barber (and his balls), the benenemafits of a Fleet-based regimen, the grapefruit and bacon diet,...

Jamón y jabón, computerized career counseling, nicaragua@nicaragua.nicaragua, Sandwich does the Boogie Oogie, skating to college, Checkin...

On Being Boring, crazy meat, Merlin knows how to build a team, Lonely Spacecamp, Clooney trumps Hill but both beat you, Encounters with Cele...

"Oh my God: you GUYS!"; Scott sports vomit; Merlin raises a Predator; Scott has a hair theory about ladies who sing; Merlin calls for a Nati...

Sign up for SNARE!, Ol’ Grandpa Mann’s Phlegmatic/Bucolic Humour Balancing Apparatus, the magical beards of junior high, receivi...