EP 1-3: Let Go of Your Ego and Live Happy

Struggling, enduring, and overcoming setbacks in life can be the key to growth. Hi, this is Jacquie Fazekas and welcome to Episode one-three of You are an Overcomer Podcast: Let go over your ego and live happy. It's time for me to get raw, real, and vulnerable, telling you the truth about my struggles and my victories. In the episode one-one, I shared that I was a sick child, born with asthma and often hospitalized. As a child, I was not as active as the other kids and battled being exceptionally overweight. This impacted my self-esteem and I struggled to love myself. In episode one-two, I discussed my struggle with being healthy and my 3 near death experiences. They were the wakeup calls I needed to learn that my health mattered. However, my biggest and most painful struggle in my life has been learning to release control, overcoming my ego and leaning to be happy. You see, the ego requires control, in fact it demands it. What does EGO mean anyway? The definition is " the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity." In latin it means "I". I like to think of the I vs. we concept. When a person is so self-absorbed and subconsciously believes that everything that happens in their life is because of them, then they are very ego controlled. When someone thinks of others and knows that there is a greater force at work supporting or refining life, call it God or otherwise, that is when love is in the air. There are 2 sides of ego – someone that thinks they are better than everyone, arrogant, and the other side is someone that thinks less of themselves compared to others. Our I self or ego subconsciously likes to keep us in either place. It is the daily struggle against the pull towards "I" thinking or ego that results in tension in one's life. When we realize that ego driven thoughts are not anchored in love, then it becomes a choice to shift and overcome listening and giving power to the ego. We give power to loving thoughts and actions in every day and we slowly point our focus to love, that which we are actually being called to become, LOVE. It is only when we start to live from a loving place of ourselves and others, releasing control to God, that our fears, doubts, and worry disappear and we can live happy. As a single mother and as a business executive, releasing control to anyone was hard, but to God, it was really tough! I would say that most parents are control freaks because we have so much on our plate that we are juggling in life. The more success we enjoy in life, the greater our ego grows, unless we keep it "in check". Keeping it "in check" means that we give the praise, glory and the gratitude for our successes to God. We do not think it was our own self, but the support through God that allowed for the success. Despite my struggles and overcoming many obstacles in life through God's hand, I frequently failed to give gratitude to Him for my success. I had a lot of career success and I knew I was a good mother. I found my ego growing as others praised me continuously. I was focused on me, the "I". I lost focused on His support and love. I had forgotten to rely on Him for my guidance and strength. In fact, I still had not truly fulfilled His desire for me to love and understand myself. I had made progress…in fact a lot of progress, but it was my Ego that stood in the way of really accomplishing this! My ego did not want me to start loving myself! In reflection a few years ago, I realized that all my stumbles and struggles were encountered when I had let my Ego control me. Whether it was a missed promotion or a failed relationship, my ego was always in the way of being happy. The negative self-talk and the fearful whispers were constantly heard in my distant thoughts. When I had success, I would hear ego saying "that was all you". I had allowed my old negative perceptions of myself from my childhood to enslave me. I had been carrying around baggage from my past that no one knew even existed, but I did…my ego reminded me every day. Do you let EGO self-talk creep in and monopolize your thoughts? I needed to learn to rediscover my true self (not the one ego wanted me to believe in), release control, and trust in God. It would take love -- not judging myself and others. I knew this had to be a daily practice in order for me to really make it a habit, but I could do it! Releasing control to God was the hardest part! As my boys grew older and more independent in high school, they were always out at night. For any parent, this is a fearful, worrisome time. Most nights I lay awake wondering if they would be home on time or whether I would get a call in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, there were other parents that got the calls. God had spared me again. I still struggled with worry and my selfishness, but thanking God that it was not my child. But what if it was my child one day? That was my real struggle. Would my faith in God be strong enough to overcome the pain. Could I truly release control of the outcome? What about you? When they went off to college, it took me months to build my enduring faith in God. Only when my faith became stronger than my fear could I sleep. One day I was struck by the words , "Let Thy will be done!" The words would repeat in my heads for hours, days, and nights. That was it…I learned that faith will overcome fear every time when you release control to God and let His will be done! While I had learned to release control to God, I still had not truly found happiness. In the empty house and the slowness of my new empty-nester life, I found myself struggling in the silence. This time was more painful than I had anticipated. But, by now, I had learned that in my pain there would be a lesson from God, so I knew I must embrace the pain and move through it. Days would go by and I would pray for the insights into the lessons He had wanted to teach me this time. I felt my priorities shifting and a pull to serve more. However, I had not made myself a priority in life and still struggled with being happy. My happiness had be defined in my boys, family, friends, and my career. Then one day, it was in the quietness of my own thoughts that God was able to tell me that happiness was an inside job. He said, "Happiness would be found in being present in life. Endure the silence of your own thoughts and there you will find happiness." Ha – my new lesson had been revealed! When I learned to trust God, give up control, and began to love myself the stronghold of my ego vanished. As I practiced being present and living in the moment every day, I could hear Him more clearly. I began to see things clearly, live in love and a space of non-judgement…for everything has purpose. Today, I can honestly say that I love myself and am happy! This was the completion and discovery of my new true self…God had been patient the whole time. Remember – the process of self-discovery is painful, but it is worth it! To live in a space of love and non-judgement being truly happy…well this is what I call, "peace on earth". The gifts of growth await you! Discover your happiness and peace on earth! In our next episode two "Endurance: Going the Distance", I will be interviewing Wendell Betts, who is the only known survivor of COPD, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. In our co-authored book, Endurance: Going the distance from the valley to the mountaintop he shares his story of overcoming his life threatening illness. According to the American Lung Association, it is the third leading cause of death in the united states. It is estimated that over 3 million people worldwide die from it every year. Tune in to learn how he learned to reverse and live vibrantly. Remember you can find much more on my website at , on Facebook at Jacquie Fazekas and on Instagram @youareanovercomer1. And don't forget to share this podcast. Please join our Facebook group community of Overcomers at Youareanovercomer Facebook group. Overcomers are those who have endured, turned adversity to strength, and challenges into victories. I'm Jacquie Fazekas. Until next time…

You can listen to EP 1-3: Let Go of Your Ego and Live Happy online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

EP 1-3: Let Go of Your Ego and Live Happy is an episode from You Are an Overcomer by Jacquie Fazekas.

This episode is 13:03 long.

This episode was published on Sep 16, 2018.

Yes. Use the heart button on the episode page to add it to your favorite episodes list.

Yes. This page shows related episodes from You Are an Overcomer when more episodes are available from the podcast feed.