Why He Picked Her - Not You with Patti Stanger

Read it and weep, besties, because Patti is not here to sugarcoat a single thing. Stop wasting your time on a boy who only wants you around to boost his ego, fill his schedule, and keep you on standby while he figures himself out. Boys will breadcrumb you, mind game you, and keep you confused. Men make it clear. And we are done accepting less. Today, Patti Stanger returns to the show to talk about how to stop being a placeholder, raise your standards, and actually recognize the difference between a man and a boy. Patti and Violet get into why women give too much too soon, how bad relationship patterns start in childhood, why men know much earlier than they admit, and how to tell when you’re being strung along. They also break down love bombing, gaslighting, red flags, ultimatums, dating with self-respect, and why waiting around is the fastest way to waste your own life. If you’ve ever questioned someone’s intentions, stayed too long, or confused chemistry with commitment, this one is your wake-up call. What to Listen For: 07:40 Why do we pick who we pick? 09:20 If you give a man too much of anything 13:43 Dating a boy versus a man 17:53 You want to know what their intentions are 22:37 If you allow yourself to be used 25:25 Is giving an ultimatum a good idea? 29:00 You get the ring when you have self respect 32:08 Why do we give our hearts too quickly? 35:59 Be realistic with your standards 43:06 Love bombers are mostly narcissists 47:48. Red flags vs green flags 52:19 The effects bad relationships have on kids 57:03 How do you handle the highs and lows? 59:30 Why are you wasting time? 01:07 Being able to do other things 01:08 Do I have to calm down my intensity to not scare off men? 01:11:30 What’s the best advice you’ve received? Connect with Patti on: Instagram Twitter Books Millionaire's Club Matchmaker Fragrance Get more content on: @violetbenson on Instagram @daddyissues_ on Instagram YouTube See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at .

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Why He Picked Her - Not You with Patti Stanger is an episode from Too Tired To Be Crazy with Violet Benson by Violettta Benson.

This episode is 01:12:49 long.

This episode was published on Apr 9, 2026.

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