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Helping to make horror films more approachable, one die roll at a time. Hosted by Jeffrey Cranor and Cecil Baldwin of Welcome to Night Vale.
The Devil went down to Philly… Approachability: 6/10 (Thriller that's heavier on tension than blood) Content Warnings: Suicide; Heights; Jum...
Cleanup requested on aisle 2 Approachability: 4/10 (Monster-packed splatter fest) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Jump scares; Giant spiders/b...
Ask your doctor if Zombinol is right for you. Approachability: 4/10 (Gory & nightmarish & very very 80s) Content Warnings: Jump scares; Bloo...
It's Temu Grease 2 Approachability: 10/10 (Wholesome, jukebox musical) Content Warnings: no content warnings Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9...
The Bad Seed learns magick Approachability: 8/10 (Bratty kid horror) Content Warnings: Blood/murder; Child death; Jump scares; Gaslighting/M...
Go make a ladder out of bread Approachability: 9/10 (Art house folk horror slash black comedy) Content Warnings: Sexual Assault Next Week’s...
Kung Fu Master vs Zombie Vampire Mummy Special Guest: Symphony Sanders Approachability: 8/10 (More kung fu action comedy than horror) Conten...
Groovy. Special Guest: Andrew Scahill Approachability: 4/10 (Schlocky, funny, and brilliant splatter fest) Content Warnings: Jump scares; Bl...
Everytime We Meet for Ice Cream Your Whole F*cking Face Explodes (2024) / All My Friends (2025) / Forklift Driver Klaus (2000) / Box Fort (2...
Hold my cigarette. The most cursed song: Pluffnub's version of The Spice Girls' "Wannabe" Approachability: 6/10 (Gory but arty movie that’s...
Is that chocolate milk, Becky? Recipe for the unholy Bacon Snack Bars Approachability: 8/10 (Bloodless horror/whodunit/dark comedy) Content...
Who's a good boy? Approachability: 1/10 (Super gory, scary, and sad. It goes there and beyond) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Jump scares; Ch...
Eventually, the bill comes due Lena Pott's Magic Mike XXL essay Approachability: 7/10 (Child murder; Genocide; Anti-indigenous racism) Conte...
Suspense (1913) / EYE SCREAM (2023) / The Moths Will Eat Them Up (2025) / Fist of Jesus (2012) / Cargo (2013) / La cabina (1972) Approachabi...
I'm sorry. Did you say "glory hole?" Approachability: 6/10 (Slow burn haunted house story that has a tense final act) Content Warnings: Cree...
Angels smell like ham. Approachability: 7/10 (Bloody but not scary; Fits noir-thriller, not religious-horror) Content Warnings: Blood/gore;...
What if primetime soap… but with zombies? Approachability: 5/10 (Smart zombie drama with lots of gore) Content Warnings: Child death; Blood/...
What are we even doing? Approachability: 10/10 (Too silly to be scary) Content Warnings: Bees; child death Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-...
So THIS is how werewolf work Approachability: 9/10 (Pretty mild horror by today's standards) Content Warnings: Animal death Next Week’s Film...
That is not at all how anything works. Approachability: 4/10 (Stylized (i.e. very Italian) and super-violent slasher/thriller) Content Warni...
You always save the cat Approachability: 6/10 (Scary more than bloody… except that one scene, of course) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Strob...
Prepare the gorilla! Approachability: 4/10 (Grotesque & cynical B-movie w/some unintentional hilarity) Content Warnings: Violent Sexual Assa...
Don't talk to anyone you meet on vacation Approachability: 4/10 (Tense & disturbing psych horror) Content Warnings: Child death; Blood/gore...
Lucifer is gonna win the Chopin Competition this year Aretha Franklin singing "Nessun Dorma" Approachability: 8/10 (Standard 70s-style Satan...
Sentient puppets kiling Nazis? 5 stars. No notes Approachability: 7/10 (Goofy killer puppet movie, but the puppets are good) Content Warning...
Good and normal kids learn about science (and RIP Udo Kier) References: Patrick Stewart's Quadruple Take masterclass Approachability: 7/10 (...
Welcome to hell, motherfuckers Approachability: 6/10 (The horror elements are simple enough; But the real scares are all too real (and very...
What - and I mean this respectfully - what is a ghoulie, exactly? Approachability: 7/10 (Gloopy/gloppy and very schlocky, but mostly silly)...
aka The Amityville Economic Anxiety Approachability: 8/10 (Made-for-TV-level scares/gore) Content Warnings: Blood/violence; Jump scares; Clo...
Floor 9.5 (2018) / Souls of Totality (2019) / My house walk-through (2016) / You Are On The Fastest Available Route (2017) / Don't Feed Them...
Kids these days and their psychic shenanigans Approachability: 9/10 (Twisted psychological thriller/mystery) Content Warnings: Nazis Next We...
Franz Kafka's Starlight Express Approachability: 4/10 (Horror-wise, if you can handle Eraserhead, you got this.) Content Warnings: Body horr...
Horny vampires and nonspecific accents galore Special Guest: Symphony Sanders Approachability: 7/10 (Bloody Hollywood epic; Not scary so muc...
Danny Zuko: Driller Killer Approachability: 6/10 (Campy, not scary, but still gory) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Jump scares; Sexual assaul...
I hope you dance. Approachability: 7/10 (Arthouse psychological thriller with strong horror elements) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Rape; Vo...
Weirdest episode of Friday Night Lights ever Approachability: 6/10 (More action/comedy violent than horror violent, but it lands some scares...
Murder monsters are woke now Approachability: 6/10 (Schlocky and gory (on a Garbage Pail Kids level), and surprisingly sweet) Content Warnin...
I hope this glowing pyramid finds you well… Approachability: 4/10 (Surreal and visual feast; Slow-burn horror, but it gets there) Content Wa...
Let's summon the demon Labubu Approachability: 7/10 (Pulpy classic with plenty of noisy jump scares) Content Warnings: Jump scares; Suicide;...
The gods are such micromanagers Approachability: 4/10 (Aggressively bloody and scary meta-comedy) Content Warnings: Extreme violence; Jump s...
Chinchilla chinchilla chinchilla Approachability: 7/10 (Super-stylized art film with lots of gross body things) Content Warnings: Body Horro...
Abduct me, alien daddy Approachability: 9/10 (Domestic drama/thriller with a Movie-of-the-week aura) Content Warnings: Medical torture; Body...
The classiest of all streaming cat videos. Approachability: 9/10 (Classy and spooky movie masterpiece) Content Warnings: Sexual assault; Blo...
Found another use for the meat saw! Special Guest: Iris Explosion (Iris is live onstage in Coney Island on Aug 15. Tix/info here) Approachab...
Let's take a trip on Mushroom Island Approachability: 10/10 (Rubber-suit mushroom monsters versus Gilligan’s Island) Content Warnings: Threa...
It's time to Pump It Up! Approachability: 4/10 (Over-the-top body horror satire) Content Warnings: Body horror; Blood/gore; Lots of needles;...
Men will literally become ventriloquists instead of going to therapy Approachability: 8/10 (Tragic drama with solid horror elements (namely...
When do we get BRIDE of Frankencarrot? Approachability: 9/10 (Corny, fun, sci-fi classics) Content Warnings: Animal death; Jump scares; Stro...
Imagine, if you will, a government run by evil people Special Guests: Jonny & Aileen of ¡Uy Que Horror! Approachability: 8/10 (Neo-noir jour...
Bad Bunny made me do it. Approachability: 5/10 (Tense & violent with a slow burn) Content Warnings: bloody/gore; jump scares; vomit Next Wee...