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Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding artwork
Society & Culture

Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding

Not By Accident by Sophie Harper

Jul 14, 201700:18:01Society & Culture

Nick called to tell me the news just before New Year’s, only weeks after we got back to Denmark. He proposed, and she said yes. I’m happy for them, of course, really happy. Nick has found the person he wants to share the...

About This Episode

Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding is an episode from Not By Accident by Sophie Harper. Nick called to tell me the news just before New Year’s, only weeks after we got back to Denmark. He proposed, and she said yes. I’m happy for them, of course,...

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Episode Details

Published Jul 14, 2017, 00:18:01 long, audio available.

Questions About This Episode

What is Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding about?

Nick called to tell me the news just before New Year’s, only weeks after we got back to Denmark. He proposed, and she said yes. I’m happy for them, of course, really happy. Nick has found the person he wants to share the rest of his life with! Selfishly I’m filled with dread at the thought of the trip, so I hope it will be a long engagement. I try to suppress the niggling feelings that weddings bring up in me. The flashing neon sign I feel lighting up over my head at times like this. “Single! Single!” The fact that even if I wasn’t, I couldn’t get married in my home country. People like me, lesbians and gays, are still denied that right. But even if I could, I can’t quite picture it for me. Motherhood has pushed that part of my identity so far away that I can’t even really imagine it. One Saturday morning, Nick calls, not for a chat. He hesitates, reluctant to say it out loud. Still coming to terms with the news himself. Nozomi is pregnant! My little brother is going to be a Dad. He tells me they want to get married first. They want the wedding to be about the two of them. Nick fears once there’s a baby, they’ll be so consumed that they might not get around to it. They decide on a July wedding. Just a few months from now. It’s the right decision for them, and this is about them. I’m overwhelmed at the thought of the trip I agonize over the pros and cons. I’m sure we will go. We can’t not go. But then there’s another issue. One I greatly underestimated. An issue with the authorities and you. This production is made by me, Sophie Harper, in partnership with Wondery. I’m supported by generous listeners. Editorial input from Michelle Webster. Music from freemusicarchive.org - CC NC License: Weathered Home 3:Bird Split Sky and Aalborg Pulse by Candlegravity. Unison by Bjork used invoking the Fair Use Doctrine. Ad music from freemusicarchive.org - CC Commercial License: Drop of Water in the Ocean by Broke For Free. Thanks to my family, my friends and my daughter for letting me share your stories. I’m now on Patreon! If you’d like to support the series with a small donation to each new episode, you can do it here: Thanks so much to Margaret P. Jones, Kasey Tomkins, Dianne Firth and Anne Staude who have jumped on already! To everyone who’s written to share your stories and to support me in continuing, thank you. I’m very behind with my replies, but want you to know each message means so much. Go to to find out more about the series, join the e-newsletter or to get in touch. We’ll be back with the next installment in about 2 weeks.

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Which podcast is Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding from?

Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding is an episode from Not By Accident by Sophie Harper.

How long is this episode?

This episode is 00:18:01 long.

When was this episode published?

This episode was published on Jul 14, 2017.

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Are there related episodes from Not By Accident?

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Quick Answers About This Episode

Where can I listen to Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding?

You can listen to Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding on this page when the episode audio is available from the podcast feed.

Which podcast is this episode from?

Ep 21: My Brother's Wedding is from Not By Accident by Sophie Harper.

What are the episode details?

Published Jul 14, 2017 and 00:18:01 long