Looking Back and Feeling Good For Once

Six years ago today I was standing inside of Princess Marie Louise Hospital in Ghana holding the hand of a young girl named Mercy. Days later I would board a plane home. Weeks later she would die. When I share this story, it is followed by the notion that when I returned home I determined that I “wanted to use my powers for good.” Today, as I look back at what I’ve done since that day I find myself smiling. The artist and entrepreneur in me will never be satisfied. It is the curse of the creative that you always strive to be better than the last thing you did. To leave a mark. I’ve tasted the sour of failure over and over again. Been burned and thrown away like trash by people I trusted and loved. Starting things that never grew into what I hoped they would. You know what though? I am using my knowledge and power for good. I’ve taught and inspired. I’m helping the next generation learn and grow into the working adults I think we need in the world. The work I have done mattered. I passed on things that didn’t fit into the parameters I was hoping for. Those who know me, know that I’m an optimist, but tend to be very critical of myself and my work. A grin crossed my face as I looked out into the woods this morning and realized that while I don’t know what the longer-term future holds, the immediate is pretty damn special. The truth is that looking out too far is dangerous for me. The worry and fear that comes with it simply aren’t worth it. Focusing on the now and the immediate time ahead of me is much healthier in all forms. What am I doing this fall? I don’t know yet. This summer? I’m in charge of an amazing partnership and internship program that I can’t wait to kick off. That should be enough for me to focus on and work towards doing my best at. I crave more stability because it would make everything easier. My reality though is that things haven’t been “stable” as long as I’ve walked the earth. Perhaps the idea of stability is a myth that we all crave and endlessly search for? I’ve done good. I feel good. I’ll continue to work hard and do more good. How are you feeling today? Try to do some good in your immediate vicinity today.

You can listen to Looking Back and Feeling Good For Once online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

Looking Back and Feeling Good For Once is an episode from Managing the Gray.

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This episode was published on Apr 24, 2018.

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