What SWAT Hostage Negotiators Know About Tough Conversations (That Leaders Don’t) with Scott Tillema

What do hostage negotiations and workplace conflict have in common? More than you think. Former SWAT hostage negotiator Scott Tillema ( joins me to break down what it really takes to influence emotional people in high-stakes moments...whether you’re outside a barricaded building, delivering some uncomfortable performance feedback or trying to solve a problem with your spouse. If you’ve got tough conversations in the back of your head that you need to have, this episode is for you! We talk about: Why trying to be “right” can quietly destroy your influence The foundation you must build before you try to persuade anyone How timing can make or break a difficult conversation (this is HUGE!) What respect actually means...and what it doesn’t How to separate the person from the behavior without losing your cool Because the moment it becomes about being right… we’re in trouble. Want more from Scott? Scott Tillema (TILL'-uh-ma) is a retired SWAT hostage negotiator from the Chicago area. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree in behavioral science, a master’s degree in psychology, and he was trained in negotiation by the FBI and at Harvard University. He is the founder of Negotiation Excellence, LLC and as a global keynote speaker and corporate trainer. His TEDx talk “The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators” has been viewed over one million times. Anne Bonney is a keynote speaker and emcee who helps organizations lead through change by building resilience, emotional intelligence, and courageous communication.

You can listen to What SWAT Hostage Negotiators Know About Tough Conversations (That Leaders Don’t) with Scott Tillema online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

What SWAT Hostage Negotiators Know About Tough Conversations (That Leaders Don’t) with Scott Tillema is an episode from Igniting Courage with Anne Bonney by Anne Bonney.

This episode is 41:03 long.

This episode was published on Mar 5, 2026.

Yes. Use the heart button on the episode page to add it to your favorite episodes list.

Yes. This page shows related episodes from Igniting Courage with Anne Bonney when more episodes are available from the podcast feed.