
Alan Titchmarsh, eat your heart out
Send a text In which I discover a few of my favourite things; Toast is a dick; Mr IKINTST makes some outrageous allegations about me; I come...
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I've been rambling on for years on my blog, and now I thought I'd start rambling on via a podcast as well. I'm eclectic; very sweary; frequently livid; perpetually confused. Topics I'm likel...

Send a text In which I discover a few of my favourite things; Toast is a dick; Mr IKINTST makes some outrageous allegations about me; I come...

Send a text In which Mr IKINTST comes up with the most unattractive metaphors for sex, ever; we discuss Christmas Incidents; Mr IKINTST perf...

Send a text In which THERE HAS BEEN A STORM; we discuss pig penises; I break a bath, and have a series of encounters with dodgy men brandish...

Send a text In which I walk a marathon (did I mention I walked a marathon?!), and talk about it A LOT; Mr IKINTST defies medical science; we...

Send a text In which Mr IKINTST and I join forces to BRING BACK THE PODCAST. We discuss cats with fetishes, horny tortoises, and quite what...

Send a text In which, after an 18 month absence, the podcast comes back!!! We discuss the ever-chaotic state of my desk; the arrival of Toas...

Send a text In which it's apparently very hot; I am the world's worst podcaster; I share one of Mr IKINTST's most excellent c...

Send a text In which I remember Nana; I share some very exciting breaking news, which will excite precisely no one other than me; I hit new...

Send a text In which I gear up for a bonkers week; I have the Night From Hell; my cats are absolute dicks; we discuss the utter pointlessnes...

Send a text In which I update you all on my writing plans; I explain why you didn't get a podcast last week; Beth has a difficult day;...

Send a text In which I am deeply unglamorous; I have my first AirBNB experience, and make a total tw*t out of myself in public; the cats are...

Send a text In which the podcast comes BACK; we have a very exciting Friday night out; I prove my old age credentials; my cat is a twat; I h...

Send a text In which it is very windy; my love sausage comes out a treat; I discover something even more disturbing than a love sausage; Jam...

Send a text In which I go out to buy a love sausage; I do some Proper Adulting; Beth gives me a very proud parenting moment; we celebrate th...

Send a text In which I successfully complete Dry January; Beth plays in the cup semi-final; I excel at Embarrassing Parenting; we celebrate...

Send a text In which I return from a podcast hiatus; I stagger to the end of Dry January; I explain all the reasons you should steer well cl...

Send a text In which we all make it through the first week in January; I tackle Dry January; Jamie is bemused by testing, and Blazer-Gate en...

Send a text In which New Year's Eve goes on a bit bloody long; my cats are (festive) dicks; my kids are amazing; there's controver...

Send a text It's the festive edition of the podcast: in which I share some of my favourite Christmas memories and traditions; life is d...

Send a text In which I declare it to be Officially Christmas; Mr IKINTST and I attempt to write a Christmas song, and have a difference of o...

Send a text In which my vagina is indeed cold and frosted (it's ****ing FREEZING!); we have a heated debate about the correct point in...

Send a text In which we discuss the soul destroying adulting task that is "life admin"; I confess to my secret fetish; my cats are dicks, ag...

Send a text In which I record a podcast in the midst of abject chaos; I debate a creative addition to my Christmas cake; Fanny Craddock scar...

Send a text In which I live out an all time dream, and sing at the Royal Albert Hall; I have one of the maddest weeks ever; my hair appointm...

Send a text In which I get unfeasibly irritated by pumpkins; we talk about not setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves; teenagers are...

Send a text In which my 40th birthday celebrations finally happen; Beth and her teams play some bloody brilliant football; I am the Embarras...

Send a text In which I record the last podcast of my 30s; I almost make a total tit out of myself at work; Covid is a dick; we celebrate the...

Send a text In which I get absolutely bloody soaked; we discuss the hell of a hungover Saturday morning, poolside; Beth encounters gravity;...

Send a text In which I share the truths I wish I'd known before I became a parent; my Ocado delivery goes rogue; everyone loses their s...

Send a text In which I share some of my most mortifying moments over the years; I get to live out an all time dream; I have an Irritating We...

Send a text In which I go Out Out; my neighbours are batshit; I explain whyTop Gear probably won't be calling me up any time soon; we s...

Send a text In which I thank you all for being so bloody brilliant; I am That Mum; we appreciate the golden moments; Jamie lives his best li...

Send a text In which this podcast celebrates its one year anniversary, and I say a massive thank you to all of you for supporting it; I reme...

Send a text In which I take a trip back down memory lane to life as a teenage girl in the 1990s; I feel better and WELL, and ALIVE!!!; the c...

Send a text In which I get poorly sick; we are lucky enough to go away on holiday; Jamie reaches new levels of ineptness; I lobby for crazy...

Send a text In which they finally turn down the sun; I participate in the competitive sport of Dishwasher Reemptying; teachers are amazing;...

Send a text In which I reveal the outcome of my Ocado debacle; Beth is vaguely mortifying; football doesn't come home... but it kind of...

Send a text In which I apologise for absence; we face the least fun family Saturday night activity ever; ASAP is a dick; I am obstreperous,...

Send a text In which my kitchen appliances are dicks, as are my cats; I max out on helicopter parenting; Jamie achieves a teenage dream; the...

Send a text In possibly my most Too Much Information podcast yet, we talk about bloody periods; Jamie gets wet; I am very grateful not to be...

Send a text In which it is a bit bloody hot, and I am Not At One with the sun; my children fail to work suncream; I develop a frankly genius...

Send a text In which Mr IKINTST and I celebrate 21 years of being together with a romantic weekend away..... with the children; I reveal why...

Send a text In which I think we can safely conclude that the fitted sheet is the most dickish household object of all time; the sun FINALLY...

Send a text In which I get my first Covid vaccine (SO grateful) and have a little cry of joy; we have a bonkers week; Jamie experiences an e...

Send a text In which I get utterly drenched (nothing to do with the sex); Andie McDowell irritates me; Beth picks up a football injury; I bo...

Send a text In which I am exceedingly livid; I fail abjectly to manage to lie in; the moon is completely unreasonable; replacing my walking...

Send a text In which I still have not a bloody clue what day the bins go out; the kittens turn two (and remain complete ****ing liabilities)...

Send a text In which I reminisce back to the halcyon days of HELL ON EARTH sleep deprivation; I reveal my greatest - and most ridiculous - p...

Send a text In which I talk at length on the many and varied reasons why I am categorically Not A Runner; I explain why you really don'...

Send a text In which I eat a shit load of Easter eggs and fail miserably at Easter hunts; I prove why I am not to be trusted in charge of a...