Chris Appleton - ‘I Felt Shame Before I Felt Love’

Celebrity hair stylist Chris Appleton has a slew of devoted clients including Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Martha Stewart, as well as millions of Instagram followers and a regular slot offering advice on The Drew Barrymore Show. His memoir, Your Roots Don’t Define You, is a New York Times bestseller. But growing up was hard on Appleton: he was the middle of five children and struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia at school. He was bullied by his classmates for being gay - something he didn’t yet understand about himself. At 16, he left school to work full-time and began a serious relationship with his colleague, Kate. By 19, he was a father. In this episode we discuss imposter syndrome, the darkest moments of his life, shame and the work he’s done to overcome the hurdles he’s faced. And, of course, we talk about the Kardashians. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 02:33 Imposter Syndrome as Fuel 04:24 Red Carpets and Online Pressure 05:27 Hair as Celebrity Identity 07:15 Memoir and Health Wake Up 08:48 Dash the Dog and Comfort 11:02 Shame Coming Out and Healing 22:26 Kids First After Divorce 23:05 Holiday Triggers and Boundaries 24:31 Success Doesn't Heal 25:18 Inner Child Healing Work 27:22 Envy Into Mentorship 30:08 Kardashians on Failure 31:25 Hair Identity and Change 35:18 Comparison and Social Media 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: It’s okay to make mistakes, but I love learning from them and understanding why we make those decisions. Hair is such a big part of people's identity. It tells who you are. You can externally excite yourself... But if you're not aligned internally, you still have that sad and lonely feeling. I think imposter syndrome to an extent is healthy... It keeps me turning up to jobs prepared. I treat every job like it's the first time I've done it. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Chris Appleton’s book Your Roots Don’t Define You, is out now Join the How To Fail community: Elizabeth’s Substack: 📚 WANT MORE? Rylan Clark - on public breakdowns, surviving divorce and rebuilding his sense of self. Dawn French - on comedy, adoption and finding confidence later in life. 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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Chris Appleton - ‘I Felt Shame Before I Felt Love’ is an episode from How To Fail With Elizabeth Day by Sony Music.

This episode is 45:10 long.

This episode was published on Mar 25, 2026.

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