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Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.
Stay Golden, we’re becoming the Jetsons, love makes you softer and a medication journey. Early perimenopause, loving yourself, the guilt of...
Where are the gas boosters, too many hats, hurts to walk and our girl is getting surgery. Bring back executions, my time with a Little, don’...
They can’t arrest us all, the church is on the way, Stephanie was combative and social anxiety is crippling. Waking up to an actual nightmar...
Welcome back Jose! Living vicariously, sniffies action shots, men catfishing and passionate making out. Making it clap, danglers, hidden glo...
Welcome Elrod!! The exhilaration of a thrift score, Pat’s grown woman foot, moving to the Bay Area and understanding that failure is a lesso...
Welcome Kris Staxx! Our kids are our biggest haters, the private school experience, square up and Juice Week pt 2. Hit a parlay, waiting in...
Welcome Deltrice! RIP Myspace, St. Patrick’s ugly history, prayers for Lev and DJ Fresh’s keen intuition. Growing up with a natural gift, th...
Welcome Miss Ashleigh! Great minds think alike, growing up in the country, ancestry surprises and psychology studies. Radio shows, spoken wo...
Welcome Nelly! Gas station hostage, sickness is going around, intro to the game and girls are sexualized EARLY. Always trust your gut, spicy...
Been a busy girl, unexpected visitor, great Bay Area representation and Gavin should stop talking. A local kidnapping, pray for Mexico, RIP...
Welcome Alyssa! We love good maintenance, are women the gross ones, men will do anything and a provider does not want your man. Don't discus...
Welcome Jose! Super Bowl weekend , fold your clothes, we don’t understand numbers and college is hard. Neighbors being ridiculous, driving t...
Meet niece Jaymee, another earthquake, testing Pat’s memory and 2026 is not being nice. Eat the rich, Elon is humiliating, Blueface is back...
It’s been a rough week, neurodivergent headquarters, rethinking barber school and congratulations to raffle winners LUVY and TESSA JENKINS!!...
Crystal is doing better, guest episodes are coming, Happy Birthday Stinkers and Xmas is gone. Congratulations Rubi Ro and Carmen, it costs m...
Peez is a feisty old woman, Pat’s been cooking, Crystal made a mistake and hands off Venezuela. Abolish ICE, new holsters, a surprise protei...
Nice coats, big cleaning plans, NYE traditions and prime thrifting. School for fun, Mochi is innocent, give us our plastic bags and the Unit...
Disclaimer: we’ve experienced some technical difficulties this week so our apologies for the sound quality!! They have since been corrected...
Pat is sick, telepathy is real, it’s ok to be a gremlin and the holiday party was LOVE. Christmas can be every day, let’s play QVC, POTUS fi...
Pat is the grinch, we hate inconsiderate neighbors, check on your mom if she screams and 67 is not a devil number. Dressing for attention is...
Celebs will always let you down, don’t claim to be native unless you have proof, the holiday party is almost here and increase pay for all t...
The holidays are here, eat some weevils, we love a mullet and Zach had a nice breakfast. Crystal had an oops, there’s something strange in t...
Get your Holiday Hangout tickets, old episodes are crazy, Crystal loves dirty bears and grief is weird. Growing up without parents is hard,...
Earthquake! Happy Birthday Carolyn, we had a garage sale and no more pennies. Teeth are a luxury, Christmas is cancelled, churches aren’t wa...
Happy Birthday Will! Crystal is in disguise, daylight savings is whooping us and poor people can scam. We’re only good at war, push kids to...
Marysville is different, we’ve been mispronouncing words, turn off automatic braking and we want women drivers. Pat made a calm down corner,...
The universe said Pat’s been too happy, people have been mean to Crystal, Blueface is possibly Pat’s soulmate and Peez dances to her own dru...
Happy 7 years, Columbus Day my *ss, sunglasses at the gym and no more jean jackets? White dog poop, nostalgic snacks, some new bills and sep...
Teach your kids to keep their hands to themselves, Crystal had an awkward encounter, Peez taught herself piano and Happy Birthday Kandi! We...
Don’t copy Peez’ mom, Crystal misses Jnco’s, the daytime isn’t so bad and today is Orange Shirt Day. Spumoni is a top tier dessert, let peop...
Earthquakes and indecisive weather, dreaming of scams, Bay Area crime cases and some good Facebook drama. An interesting theory on soulmates...
Crystal had big feet, Pat is a fitness girly, Mochi had an adventure and Peez’ teacher messed up. Book club ideas, horrible unsolved murders...
Nice Crystal’s dead, Pat’s having weird dreams again, a mystery tea set and a new P.O. Box. Sharing symptoms is rude, Peez had the best birt...
First day of school again, bathroom residents, Crystal has a wound and we’ll finally get some relief. Pat has a dad Crystal has a mom, Unkno...
Don’t waste your bangs, escape rooms are fun, always shop with a list and cries without tears are a tell. Did we love a fraud? Men need to s...
Peez started kindergarten, Crystal had a relaxing birthday, perimenopause is killing us and sometimes you need to be a Karen. Common courtes...
Happy Anniversary, Mexico was eventful, Crystal is not a traveler and Peez is a sour patch kid. Pat doesn’t own a mop, school is starting, n...
Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are...
Crystal got her hair done and a new piercing, 4loko cans are a warning, thrift prices are disrespectful and Pat got some bad news. Don’t puk...
Things are getting better, Peez is hoarding, OCD just doesn’t make sense and farewell Great America. Crystal is still terrorizing Pat’s drea...
Pat is playing referee, Sunday was a flop, Crystal has been writing and was asked to babysit. RIP Amanda, no more pets, random singing and o...
RIP Antonio, we’re sweaty, Pat’s back is broken and CA has some new laws. Don’t get fake abs, change your towels out, OCD sometimes promotes...
Weekend unboxing, Bunny’s birthday, a fire scare and old Italian tradition. A close call, don’t let your kids join the military, messy true...
RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the...
Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option...
It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts...
Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired o...
It’s Stevi and Pat’s birthday, mammograms aren’t that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for y...
Mother’s Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is...
Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crysta...