FA 106 Reconnecting With Family

Introduction topic THE MOST RELAXING VACATION YOU CAN TAKE IS GOING NOWHERE AT ALL Ephrat Livni - Quartzy Importance of unstructured time “Dolce far niente” - the sweet joy of doing nothing “Remaining close to home—or just in it, hanging out—leaves you refreshed and provides perspective. And it may be the key to your next great idea.” Become comfortable with being alone with yourself; wherever you go, your self comes with! Take time to be present and enjoy wherever you are avoid having a completionist mindset of ticking boxes just to say you’ve been somewhere Topic When is it a good idea to step away from family? Toxic behavior Emotional blackmail/coercion Abusive/threatening behavior Lack of acceptance Need to create space to establish own values/priorities Why reconnect with family? Source of stability/constancy in your life Reconnecting with unconditional love underlying family bonds Greater understanding of self (family of origin) If they loved you before, they can love you again Support Structure When is the right time to reconnect with family? Financial independence Stable, independent living situation no risk, nothing to lose if your family chooses to reject you. After time to heal / develop “new normal” “Most parents prefer having a gay son to no son at all” - Dan Savage Times of crisis (family member ill/dying) How to reconnect with family Non-violent communication Provide “first-aid” empathy Seek to understand before seeking to be understood Express your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgement on your family members Look for a “win-win” “My lifestyle is not the same as your lifestyle, but both are okay, and we can choose to live the life that we want” Look for ways to spend time together that will meet everyone’s needs Don’t rush it, go at your own pace Reconnection isn’t going to happen overnight Feedback None for this week Question(s) What are some of the best techniques you could offer to help get over a toxic relationship? Doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or friends. Self-empathy Self-care Choosing to control what you can (your actions/perceptions/interpretations) and release control of what you cannot (your abuser’s past actions, what your abuser does now) Forgive your abuser (even if you don’t let them know) Empathy and understanding can lessen pain Forgiveness does not absolve someone of being responsible for their actions or of being held accountable Forgive yourself for allowing the abuse to happen as long as it did You are only capable of doing your best at any given moment, given the information you have It is impossible to make a mistake; mistake is a judgement applied to an action after it has occurred Figure out what you were getting from the toxic relationship Try to figure out how you can get these needs met in a healthier way Be mindful not to enter into a relationship with someone very like your previous partner We are often attracted to what feels familiar, not what feels good Closer Contact info Contact Viro: t.me/viroscicollie twitter.com/viroscicollie Contact Rhythm: twitter.com/Rhythm_Fox t.me/RhythmFox Feral Attraction Twitter: twitter.com/feralattractfm Feral Attraction Contact Page: feralattraction.com/contact Coaching Services now available! As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service! For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching Other business Patreon Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at

You can listen to FA 106 Reconnecting With Family online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

FA 106 Reconnecting With Family is an episode from Feral Attraction by Feral Attraction.

This episode is 00:43:56 long.

This episode was published on Aug 15, 2018.

Yes. Use the heart button on the episode page to add it to your favorite episodes list.

Yes. This page shows related episodes from Feral Attraction when more episodes are available from the podcast feed.