Exploring the idiosyncrasies of male friendship, with Andrew McCarthy

“I asked everyone if they were lonely. All the guys my age said 'no, I'm too busy; too much going on.' When I answer that quickly I'm either lying or it's something I'm afraid of.” – Andrew McCarthy In this episode of Deviate , Rolf and Andrew talk about why Andrew took a USA road trip to reconnect with his friends (2:15); what kinds of friends Andrew sought out, why none of them were public figures, and how loneliness is bad for men's health (8:00); the kinds of men Andrew spoke with in passing on the trip, why Andrew sought out Elvis Presley sites on the road, and how women's friendships differ from men's (17:30); Andrew's takeaways from his road trip, why "showing up" for people is important, and how travel can be the "university of life" (28:00); audience questions about friendships between younger men, the rumored possibility of a St. Elmo's Fire sequel, the task of recording an audiobook, creepy things that happened on the road, and how travel inevitably makes us more open and curious (35:30). Andrew McCarthy ( @AndrewTMcCarthy ) is an actor, television director and writer of such books as The Longest Way Home , Brat and Walking with Sam . His newest book is Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America . Notable Links: Tips for telling travel stories , with Andrew McCarthy ( Deviate episode) Paris Writing Workshops (summer learning-vacation classes) Travels with Charley in Search of America , by John Steinbeck (book) Brat Pack (group of young 1980s actors) Elvis Presley Birthplace (museum site in Tupelo, Mississippi) Camps Promising to Turn You into an Alpha Male (article) Comstock, Texas (incorporated community) Joshua Speed (close friend of Abraham Lincoln) St. Elmo's Fire (1985 movie) Geoff Dyer (English author and travel writer) Strawberry Hill (neighborhood in Kansas City, Kansas) The Deviate theme music comes from the title track of Cedar Van Tassel’s 2017 album Lu mber . Note : We don’t host a “comments” section, but we’re happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at deviate@rolfpotts.com.

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Exploring the idiosyncrasies of male friendship, with Andrew McCarthy is an episode from Deviate with Rolf Potts by Rolf Potts.

This episode is 00:51:24 long.

This episode was published on Apr 8, 2026.

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