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Narcissists manipulate others using toxic ideas. In this podcast, we decode narcissists and how they operate, we expose and deconstruct toxic ideas, and we learn how to negotiate effectively...
Smear campaigns are hoaxes. Hoax specialist Mark joins us to explain hoaxes, how they work - and how to recognise them. We discuss the psych...
After a breakup, it is normal to feel some discomfort, and it can be challenging to sit with it. Instead, we might be tempted to numb oursel...
From one day to the next, a whole group of people goes weird. But no one says anything. Are we just imagining things? Maybe we did something...
Learn how to use emotions to detect toxic signals in a relationship, symptoms of unhealthy relationships, and noticing when something is off...
Toxic relationships are draining. And managing our energy is crucial in order to get our lives back. I share some thoughts and tips around t...
After we trusted too easily, too much the wrong person, what do we do? Shutting down and no longer trusting anyone is safe. But... It leads...
I noticed a series of strange signals before things get really weird - but I reacted calmly: I was prepared, this time. I'd started speaking...
A friend was upset: he's fallen out with an ex colleague, whom I happen to know. He was worried because of a former "colleague" who was smea...
Narcissists HATE people talking. Why? Because they can't control what is said. They don't know what is said. That creates uncertainty and re...
One of the most helpful tools in systemic therapy is identifying primary and secondary goals. Otherwise we get hypnotised by words. I say I...
One of the first things narcissists do to make people take sides, such as after a break up, is Reputation Destruction. They will not only go...
How can we tell if criticism is legitimate? Let's take a comment left on this podcast to see how we can test criticism to take onboard anyth...
Grief helps us move on. But grieving a "narcissist" presents specific challenges. Get it wrong, and we're stuck for too long. But get it rig...
Ever notice how narcissists (and others) use tone to mock someone they want us to disagree with? Sometimes it's baby voice: "And they said "...
Life during and after toxic relationships can feel like hell. And sometimes we find helpful ideas that help us get our life back together. I...
Shame makes us look away, and that makes us MUCH more vulnerable to narcissists. But it's possible to recognise when we're feeling shame and...
I saw a post on social media about 8 mistakes to avoid when dealing with toxic people and... I disagree with nearly all of it. In this episo...
Dogmatic people refuse to change their minds about topics. However, until we realise this, we can assume people are open to new facts or bli...
I went to an event and it was weird. One person was being hyper negative, hijacked the event, made people uncomfortable - and some "flying m...
Fungibility is a term used in economics to describe "items that can be mixed without differentiating the source". For example, if you and I...
Narcissists love pretending to be offended. It puts them at the centre of attention, they can pretend cry, get sympathy, bully others. But t...
Narcissists will accuse people of doing EXACTLY what they are doing. If you see a problem and want to make an accurate diagnostic, they will...
After a toxic relationship, it can be common to obsess over what happened - and even date more people who present the same symptoms of perso...
Knowing red flags is helpful in avoiding narcissists BUT if we conflate them with red lights, it can PREVENT us from actually moving forward...
There are 6 levels of lying, from the least bad to the absolute worst. Once we recognise them, we are less easy to manipulate and be gaslit....
Laura was a guest in a guesthouse. But she acted as though we were her guests: she bossed people around, and was obnoxious. But one lie she...
She had had a bad breakup after 20 years with someone, 15 of which he had been obnoxious and presented symptoms of having a personality diso...
Narcissists rely on lies that are propped up by other lies. Why? It makes it easier for them to manipulate us. It is hard to believe one per...
Narcissists and cults, whether spiritual or political, brainwash people in order to control them. Fortunately, there are certain tells that...
Narcissists lie, a lot. And for the lies to work, they rely (pun?) on us "reading between the lines". While this is a good idea with healthy...
Narcissists count on us to politely fill the blanks. And they like to be obnoxious to trigger us. But what happens when we don't do what the...
I share two stories of meeting people and they did something that was really off, signalling with high probability they might be narcissists...
Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. So it’s easy to assume that all bad decisions are « good faith bad decisions ». But narcissists game...
Toxic people and narcissists are often mean. And then nice. Or first nice, and then mean. And it seems to make no sense. But there is a real...
Narcissists are a bad deal. So let's see if tools used to analyse deals can help us identify toxic relationships and make more sense of why...
It is increasingly common for people to think like narcissists. And until we're aware of what that looks like, there is a risk we do too. We...
There are some common mistakes people make around narcissism. These mistakes PREVENT people from moving on, getting their lives back on trac...
Narcissists love to infiltrate and take over groups. It's less effort than creating a group. There are certain patterns they follow. I obser...
Narcissists will claim to know a lot. They will appear certain. And yet, many of the things they claim to know are... unknowable. Or it is n...
I just came across an article "what words can destroy a narcissist" on some website. I think it was generated by AI. And it was full of real...
Cults and Narcissists use nearly identical manipulation tricks that are very effective - until we recognise them and debunk them. In this ep...
Here is a sneak preview of some ideas I explore in the book I am writing on narcissism. I finally found an angle I think is relevant and wou...
Narcissists use convoluted / stupid thinking to manipulate others and defend low quality ideas. Once we recognise HOW narcissists think, it...
Is therapy helpful after being with a narcissist? Is all therapy equal? What are some things to look out for? What was my experience working...
When a friend's new partner starts employing Isolation Tactics, or Loyalty Challenge, when they are trying to create conflict between the fr...
Narcissists use Rupars to gaslight us. The technique is obnoxious, and effective, and can make us hallucinate they are right, and we are wro...
Why don't narcissists admit when they get something wrong? There are two reasons. Until we understand them, we are likely to try to get them...
When you first realise that someone matches the profile of a narcissist, and you tell your friends, many people will not believe you. There...
Narcissists and cults use similar manipulation tactics to wear people down. In this livestream from YouTube, I share some thoughts.
What is the first sign of a toxic dynamic? We often look for behaviours and patterns, but maybe the first sign is a feeling we have, a sinki...