Why Your Brain Predicts Pain When You Try to Change (And How to Rewire It)

For many men, leaving behind a career also means leaving behind a sense of identity. And much of our response to that change is shaped long before retirement ever enters the picture. My guest today is Brian DesRoches, PhD. He's a psychotherapist, coach, and author whose work focuses on how the brain responds to change. With more than 30 years of experience, Brian helps people understand why self-doubt and disorientation often show up during major transitions. We look at how long-standing emotional patterns can surface after work ends. Brian offers a way to see these reactions not as personal failures, but as learned responses that can finally be brought into the open. In this episode, we covered: Why identity loss can feel more unsettling than we expect How early emotional learning shapes our response to change What anxiety is often trying to protect us from Why so many men struggle without the structure of a professional role The emotional barriers to forming new connections How awareness can create room for something new Resources Living a Trigger-free Life

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Why Your Brain Predicts Pain When You Try to Change (And How to Rewire It) is an episode from Chapter X with Michael Kay by Michael F Kay.

This episode is 41:15 long.

This episode was published on Feb 4, 2026.

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