What Happened to the Person I Knew? Why Relationships Change

Relationships change because people change. In this episode, we explore what it means when someone you love no longer feels like the person you once knew. Using behavioral science, we examine why personality shifts over time, why growth does not always happen in the same direction, and how to decide whether to reconnect, recalibrate, or let go. Topics [0:00] Understanding Relationship Changes [7:07] Relationship Changes Over Time [13:28] Self-Expansion Theory and Michelangelo Phenomenon [22:08] Growth vs. Escape: What’s Really Driving the Change? [29:49] How to Navigate Relationship Changes [34:00] Updating the Story of “Us” [43:01] The Importance of Compassion [46:00] Regret, Loss, and What to Do Next ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community

You can listen to What Happened to the Person I Knew? Why Relationships Change online on Radio and Podcast. Open the player on this page to stream the available audio.

What Happened to the Person I Knew? Why Relationships Change is an episode from Behavioral Grooves Podcast by Kurt Nelson, PhD and Tim Houlihan.

This episode is 49:53 long.

This episode was published on Mar 2, 2026.

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